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28
July 2005 The return of Bridget Jones |
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31 July 2005
Helen
Fielding: She's back - (hurrah!) |
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3 August 2005 Keeping
up with Ms Jones |
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4 August 2005 Mark
Darcy is an emotional withholder, and Daniel is just a straightforward
man-whore' |
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BBC News 4 August 2005 'Hello
again, old friend' |
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Megastar 4 August 2005 Singletons
rejoice |
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11 August 2005 Am
I going to be 80 and casting murderous glances at Daniel in an old people's
home? |
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18 August 2005 We
are now going to late-night chemist to purchase completely pointless pregnancy
test |
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19 August 2005 Critic's
Notebook - Dear Diary, Time to Catch Up: Same Men (Cads), No Baby (Alas) |
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24 August 2005 'Suddenly
something magical and new had happened to me: it was a miracle' |
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1 September 2005 'Is
wrong to use embryonic human being as anti-depressant or mood-stabilising
drug' |
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8 September 2005 'You're
in denial,' said Magda. 'You're pregnant, single, and you don't know who
the father is' |
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15 September 2005 'There
was a pause, then a familiar, abrupt voice. I froze, heart lurching. It
was Mark Darcy' |
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22 September 2005 'Oh
bloody hell, what am I going to do? What if neither of them wants to be
the father?' |
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29 September 2005 'Only
twice? Most couples your age are having sex about two or three times a
week' |
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6 October 2005'What
am I going to do? Lunge at Daniel, knock one of his teeth out and then
swab the wound?' |
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13 October 2005 'When
greeting Daniel, will thrust pin into his chest, thereby drawing drop of
blood' |
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20 October 2005 'What
if I put the baby in the washing machine, like that woman in the paper
with her cat?' |
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27 October 2005 'Oh
God. You're pregnant and I forgot. You see? Horrible person. Bye' |
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3 November 2005 'His
eyes immediately went to my stomach, his face a mess of emotions. He obviously
knew' |
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10 November 2005 There is no Bridget
Jones column this week |
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17 November 2005 'I
thought Mark was going to start bouncing on the sofa like Tom Cruise on
Oprah Winfrey' |
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24 November 2005 ‘Do
you think both sets of sperm were slugging it out in the womb? Like father,
like sperm?’ |
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1 December 2005 'How
lovely would have been to arrive with Mark as reunited pregnant Christmas
duo' |
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8 December 2005 'Felt
like Fanny in Far From the Madding Crowd, who ended up pregnant in the
snow' |
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15 December 2005 1 |
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Apparently Helen Fielding is taking the holidays
off. Hope to see more of Bridget in 2006 |
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05 January 2006 'Best
thing about being pregnant: Am going to have baby. Am no longer tragic,
barren spinster' |
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12 January 2006 'I
mean: as if Daniel is going to marry me. He can't even manage to speak
to me' |
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19 January 2006 'I
sank down, head in hands. Everything I used to care about was gone, or
going' |
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26 January 2006 'There
was my little girl. She already had a tiny head and arms and legs' |
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02 February 2006 'Just because we go
to a scan together, it doesn't mean we're going out together' |
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09 February 2006'Both
I and the baby will have died in childbirth. Alone. Quite alone and dead' |
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16 February 2006 'Only
an inhuman monster would leave the mother of
his unborn child to sit alone on Valentine's...' |
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22 February 2006 'What
is it about being pregnant that makes people think they can put their hands
all over your stomach?' |
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02 March 2006 'The familiar
scent of Mark Darcy got in the way and before I knew it we were kissing
each other' |
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09 March 2006 'As if Rachel Weisz is
always popping into Kettering for a coffee with Mum and Una' |
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16 March 2006 NO BJD column this week |
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23 March 2006 Bridget Jones's Diary:
'I had no idea the whole nappy business would be so fascinating, or so
challenging' |
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30 March 2006 'How in
the name of arse am I going to get myself hyped up enough to get on the
Tube?' |
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06 April 2006 'Pregnancy
jeans are so uncomfortable... am like builder with beer gut and bottom
cleavage' |
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13 April 2006 'Had never worried about
dying before, but now I realised the baby had changed everything' |
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20 April 2006 'Look,' I burst out.
'I saw three trains with human faces. I'm not imagining it. I'm not mad' |
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27 April 2006 'Did you think that I
was just weirdly fat in one place? Like having fat thumbs? Or fat earlobes?' |
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4 May 2006 'Actually, I've always found
John Prescott quite attractive... if one had to sleep with a politician...' |
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11 May 2006 'Turned out, horrifyingly,
I'd been duped into weird American-style intervention, spearheaded by Magda' |
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18 May 2006 'Tiny part of self believes
there is chance Paul will now marry and take care of me instead of Daniel' |
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25 May 2006 'Had to agree that the
crucifixion per se was fine, but Madonna's outfit was fighting the cross' |
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01 June 2006 'Daniel has been shamed
into good behaviour since ignominious incident last week, which he blames
on impending fatherhood' |
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8 June 2006 'Oh, Jones,' Daniel said,
grasping my hand all clumsily, 'don't die in childbirth or anything, will
you?' |
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15 June 2006 'Have never been so happy
in entire life. Have given birth to baby who is sweetest little creature
ever seen' |
